Since Thanksgiving I have been feeling yucky;
mostly from weakness and fatigue to more recently, stuffiness and soar throat.
Many days I wished I could hang a sign on my door like this one
and go back to bed.
Not something that is easily done as a stay at home mom
with two young kiddos.
Finally I am feeling better.
Only 2 trips to the doctor,
and a lot (too much!) of worrying.
Over the past two months I have allowed my rhythm to get off.
It naturally happens when you are sick, sure.
But I allowed everything to get off track;
my devotions, my prayers, my atitude, my joy, my hope…
So much so that it brought my spirit way down.
I’m actually ashamed of it, really.
I allowed satan to walk right into my sickness and pretty much take over.
Now understand, I am talking about my whole person,
body, heart, soul, mind.
I convinced myself that something was indeed very wrong with me
and that the doctors were just missing something.
I felt this way mostly when I was weak, fatigued and had swollen nodes in my neck,
no other symptoms.
It was strange and worrisome.
Surely if I had just a virus, something else would be going on!!
The truth was that I had let my guard down.
I had let go of the hand that was guiding me.
I took my eyes of the prize and began to run my own race of survival.
Might sound ridiculous, but it was true.
I have good friends who are struggling with issues that far outweigh anything I could ever experience.
A few of those friends were ones who walked with me through my yuckiness
and listened to my fears and anxieties,
while they stumbled through their own life.
How humbled I am.
How thankful for family, for friendship,
for the gift of grace,
and for unconditional love.
I am fine.
My energy is back. I can breathe through my nose.
My lymph nodes are no longer swollen, my throat is back to normal.
My eyes are back on Jesus.
My mind is back in the Word.
My heart is back to living each day as a gift,
no matter if it is a sunny day
or a stormy one.
And today I finally begin the New Year.
Ready, awake and willing to go and do whatever the Lord is calling me to do.
For I am a child of God.
I am a daughter of the King.
And satan has no hold on me.
I know he will try again, but I will be ready!
I pray today for the health of the world,
and for you, my brothers and sisters; for your body, mind and spirit.
In the sunny days and in the storms,
hold Fast to Jesus!